Stepping foot into a networking event can feel like entering a wolf’s den. I should know. As an introvert, it’s hard enough to pull myself out of the comfy, familiar confines of my home and go to a social gathering filled with friends — let alone to a gathering with a room (physical or virtual) full of strangers.
Because introverts replenish their energy by being alone, social gatherings can make them feel depleted. Plus, socializing can lead to a bout of anxiety and stress. Having been a small business owner for over a decade, I’ve learned to lean into my strengths as an introvert, manage the energy suck that we often feel in social situations, and cultivate meaningful connections with greater ease.
Networking for introverts doesn’t have to be excruciating. It can be manageable and — dare I say — pleasant at times. Here, I’ll go over common hurdles fellow introverts face in networking situations, offer actionable tips, and teach you how to quell any jitters and make the most of in-person events.
The Introvert Struggle Bus is Real
If you’re a small business owner who happens to be an introvert and have ever felt a tinge of dread or anxiety about attending a networking event, you’re in good company. Research reveals around 30% of introverts report significant anxiety1 in social scenarios.
Here are some potential struggles introverts might endure at a networking event:
- Unease in large crowds or social situations. We introverts might feel overwhelmed or easily taxed in large crowds. For example, while I can easily walk into a room of strangers, I tend to make a beeline for the snacks and am predisposed to being a bit of a wallflower.
- Pressure to constantly engage in small talk. While you’d much rather have deep, meaningful conversations about, say, the state of the world and what makes you tick, you’ll likely need to ask the standard mundane questions to break the ice with someone you just met. Not only can this be an energy drain, but you might find it tedious and uninteresting.
- Awkwardness or the feeling that you don’t belong. I get it. The uncertainty of not knowing who will be at the event, what the vibe will be like, and how you’ll be perceived can create a wave of anxiety. It’s enough to make any introvert, especially one prone to social anxiety, consider staying home instead (I’ve definitely been there myself). You might worry about not fitting in or coming across as weird or strange.
Something to keep in mind: we’re all our unique brand of introvert. Being an introvert is a spectrum. For some folks, your challenges will differ from those of your fellow introverts. Plus, being one simply means you can get drained from socializing—it doesn’t necessarily mean you have social anxiety or extreme shyness.
Take my friend, for instance, who’s an introvert and often feels pressured to be engaging, fearing that she might come across as awkward. I can relate to that feeling, as I used to have severe social anxiety myself. After doing a lot of work to manage it, I no longer feel as awkward or uncomfortable in social situations. But, as someone who is a highly sensitive person (HSP), I still find that after an hour or so of mingling, I feel mentally exhausted. I tend to absorb a lot of the energy around me, which can leave me feeling overwhelmed.
Prepare Ahead of Time
Unlike extroverts, who tend to feel energized by social interactions and enjoy being in large crowds, introverts usually need a bit of preparation before diving into those situations. Over time, I’ve learned how to manage my energy and calm my anxiety ahead of time, which helps me handle social situations more comfortably.
Here are some ways one can prepare for a networking event:
- Research the crowd. Yes, I’ve done this. It helps to get an idea of how many people will be at the event, the dress code, and the overall vibe. The more I can know in advance, the less anxious I feel when I actually arrive.
- Look at the logistics. If it’s an in-person event, I’ve also found it helpful to determine the parking situation, how long it will take to get there, and other factors that can deplete my energy.
- Rest up. Aim to take a nap or engage in low-energy tasks before you network. That way, your social battery won’t be depleted as quickly.
- Know your limits. Anticipate how long you can be in a large crowd or mingle with strangers until you need to pause or jet entirely.
- Prepare some questions. This might sound a bit nerdy, but if you’re nervous about not engaging at an event, drum up some conversation starters to ask people.
- Know your why. When you’re an introvert, socializing can feel like working a flabby muscle if you don’t do it frequently. You must remember to work that muscle, or it will atrophy. And if you’d much rather enjoy solitude, knowing your “why” for attending a networking event can motivate you to go.
Lean Into Your Strengths
It’s easy to forget that, as introverts, we have strengths that can be valuable when it comes to networking. Whether you’re attending an in-person or virtual event, here are a few ways you can lean into these strengths:
Be an active listener. Introverts can have greater empathy and listening skills, focus on being present, and pay close attention to what a person is saying. Maybe you can swap business tactics in your wheelhouse such as how to get customers to keep coming back or how to grow your business on a budget.
Dare to answer a thought-provoking question that goes beyond small talk. Not only does that help you learn about someone, but it can also make them feel like you’re paying attention.
Manage any anxiety. If you’re experiencing a rush of anxiety, it’s helpful to remember that networking can be challenging for people for different reasons, and you’re not alone. You can also take deep breaths, practice a quick visualization method, or feel more centered and safe with grounding techniques.
Focus on creating authentic and meaningful connections. My dear friend would say you don’t need to work the room and meet everyone at the event but do focus on meeting a few people and fostering a connection with them.
Plus, when you focus on creating an authentic connection, you’ll likely not only exchange contact information but can potentially develop a rapport and grow the connection after the event.
Take a social break as needed. I’m all about taking a break to replenish your social battery. If you begin to feel drained or anxious, hang out in the bathroom or sit in your car for a bit. If it’s a virtual event, turn off the video and audio and allow yourself to take a mental “pause.”
Bring a friend or colleague. One of the main triggers of social anxiety is walking into a crowd of unfamiliar faces. Having a friend with you can provide a sense of comfort and security, not to mention a partner in crime for any social adventures.
Swap contact info with folks you don’t have the capacity to talk to in-depth. Because an introvert’s social battery can get drained at a socializing event, you don’t have to spread yourself thin. If you’re starting to feel like you’re nearing capacity, ask folks you didn’t get a chance to talk to for their LinkedIn profile or a business card, and follow up with them post-event.
Be kind to yourself. It’s also important to practice self-compassion. Otherwise, those feelings of shame or anxiety that you’re experiencing—which can make you feel “less than” or “broken”—can make you feel worse.
Practice acceptance. You might be prone to wishing you were more of an extrovert and beating yourself up for not entering an event with the confidence, desire, and ease that others might possess. Remember: just because it can be harder doesn’t mean you are naturally inept at networking.
Follow Up After the Event
It can often feel easier to follow up after a networking shindig. Why’s that? Well, you’re reaching out on your time, so you can do it when you feel replenished and ready. Plus, you can pick your preferred mode of contact.
Following up with people you’ve met doesn’t have to be onerous or intimidating. Besides a generic “it was great meeting you, hope we cross paths or collaborate in the future,” consider including a tidbit of information that was unique to your interaction.
You don’t have to follow up with everyone you meet—just the folks you feel compelled to. Consider offering a quick “hello” to those you didn’t get to talk to at length. Remember, our social capacity also means having the bandwidth to put in the work that cultivates and maintains potential connections. Work at your own pace.
Approach Networking From Different Angles
As someone known to be a natural connector, I see networking as a way to form a community and help others. And you can go about that in different ways, such as:
- Forwarding a job posting or freelance opportunity
- Giving a shoutout about products or services on social media
- Sharing a class or resource that could be useful to fellow small business owner
- Connecting someone to a colleague they could benefit from meeting
At the end of the day, networking is a springboard to cultivate connections and build a web of support for your small business. Approaching it as a two-way street can make it that much more rewarding.
In a society that seems built for extroverts, embracing your introverted nature can be a powerful choice. Networking might not always feel comfortable or appealing, but making that effort can help you form deep, meaningful relationships and discover surprising ways that small businesses can support one another and thrive.
- https://brainwisemind.com/are-introverts-more-likely-to-have-social-anxiety/ ↩︎