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10 of the Best Small Business Jokes on International Joke Day

2-minute read

Ed Grasso

Ed Grasso

3 August 2023

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Could you use a good laugh? If you’re like many people, the answer is “Yes.” And there’s a good reason for that. Laughter can help relieve stress, reduce tension, and even boost your immune system.

July 1 is International Joke Day, but the benefits of humor don’t need to be limited to just one day each year. If you’re a small business owner looking for a way to crack a smile or belt out a belly laugh whenever the need arises, this one’s for you.

Two People Walk into a Small Business and …

Here are some of our favorite funny business jokes that we hope brighten your International Joke Day or any other day. If you’re curious about where we found them, check the links at the bottom of the page.

1. We’re starting small. Really small.

Man: Could I interest you in a microscope?

Customer: No thanks, I'd have no use for it.

Man: Here is my business card in case you ever do!

Customer: I can't read this, it's too small!

Man: Boy have I got the product for you!

2. This joke is hardly working.

Journalist: So how many employees are working in your company?

Business owner: Approximately half of them.

3. Not a very bright reply.

A customer bought an energy-saving lightbulb and found it didn’t work. When the customer went back to the store to return the bulb, the clerk said, “Oh, don’t worry. That’s how it saves energy!”

4. There’s no accounting for that.

An owner is interviewing for an accounting position. Each candidate is asked only one question: How much is 1 + 1?

The first candidate replies, “Two.” The owner says, “Thank you very much. We’ll be in touch.”

The second candidate responds with the same answer, “Two.”

When the owner asks the third candidate, the reply is, “How much do you want it to be?”

5. This laugh is on us.

An insurance agent visited his local museum and accidentally knocked over a statue. The museum curator said to him, “That’s a six-hundred-year-old statue that you’ve broken!”

The insurance agent replied, “Thank goodness for that! I thought it was a new one.”

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6. Three one-liners about starting a business.

  • I just started a business where we specialize in weighing tiny objects.

It’s a small-scale operation.

  • What sort of money do you need to start your own landscaping business?

A hedge fund.

  • I’ve started a business making boats in my attic.

Sails are going through the roof.

7. Tossing money in the ocean.

A banker fell overboard from a friend’s sailboat. The friend tossed a life preserver to the banker and shouted, “Can you float alone?” “Obviously,” the banker replied, “but this is a heck of a time to talk business.”

8. Taking a cut at the competition.

A local barber put up a sign, “Get your $3 haircut here.” Seeing this, the barber next door put up their sign, “Fix your $3 haircut here.”

9. A funny-looking pose.

A client asked a yoga instructor how to do a split. The instructor asked, ““How flexible are you?” The client replied, “I can’t make it on Tuesdays.

10. And let me close with this.

Did you hear about the candle store owner who retired? He was burned out.

And after these business jokes, so are we. Thank you, you’ve been a wonderful audience. Enjoy the veal.

If you’d also like to enjoy a good price on your business insurance, check out our free online quote tool.

Joke sources:

Ed Grasso

Written by

Ed Grasso

As a 9-year-old at summer camp, I hated it — especially after being pulled screaming from the pool during the swimming competition. While this left me without an aquatic achievement patch, it also inspired the letter to my parents that got me an early release from Camp Willard. That showed me the power of writing. I’ve done my best to use it only for good ever since, such as writing helpful articles for small business owners.

Ed writes on a number of topics such as liability insurance, small business funding, and employee management.

This content is for general, informational purposes only and is not intended to provide legal, tax, accounting, or financial advice. Please obtain expert advice from industry specific professionals who may better understand your business’s needs. Read our full disclaimer

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